Difference between a Boy and a Man

I’ve communicated with some highly successful men from various fields over the past half decade.

Over the course of these interviews, I noticed that nearly every “Great Man” has a core set of mindsets and habits that lead to massive productivity, impact, and fulfillment.

Here are the seven most frequently cited habits that I came across in my research.

1. Boys Act on Feelings Men Act on Vision

Boys allow their feelings to determine what they do and when they do it.

If they don’t feel like doing something then they don’t.

Men are different.

Men create a crystal clear vision for their future and then base every action on that vision.

A boy will choose whether or not to exercise, eat healthy, build his side hustle, or read a book based on his feelings that day.

Men know the future that they are after and the actions required to get them there.

They choose what actions to take based on the vision that is driving their life. Even if it means doing something they don’t want to do or … Doing something that they hate doing!

2. Boys Waste their Mental Energy. Men Preserve It

It is often said that “Time is our most valuable asset”.

This is a lie.

Time is not your most valuable asset because time is not your scarcest asset.

Mental energy is.

Leading psychologists and neuroscientists have uncovered an uncomfortable truth…

Most human beings have fewer than 6 hours a day of peak mental energy levels.

So while your time might be limited, your mental energy is even MORE limited.

Boys do not embrace or accept this fact.

They are happy to waste their mental energy arguing with trolls on the internet, watching porn, surfing the web, and indulging in draining activities.

Men are not.

Men know that this is the only life we (are guaranteed) to have.

They value their mental energy and preserve it carefully.

They are selective about what projects and tasks they will tackle and always make sure that they are investing their mental energy in ways that will ultimately help them build their best lives.

3. Boys Abuse their Bodies. Men Weaponize Their Bodies

Boys abuse their bodies with drugs, alcohol, shitty foods, and late parties.

Men know that their physical health is one of their most precious and fragile assets.

Boys train when they feel like it.

Men train because they know they must.

Boys allow their bodies to deteriorate and stagnate.

Men constantly push their bodies to become stronger, more agile, and more proficient at accomplishing daily tasks.

Boys do not value sleep, exercise, diet, or a low stress lifestyle.

Men know the importance of sleeping 8 hours a night, exercising daily, eating whole foods, and living a peaceful life.

4. Boys Do Not Train Their Minds. Men Do

Boys will complain about studying. They don’t understand the value of reading. And they will rarely, if ever, try to learn a new skill simply for the sake of expanding their mind.

Men, on the other hand, value their mind and treat it as a precious resource.

Boys watch hours of Netflix and TV.

Men read for hours each day.

Boys waste time playing video games and watching porn.

Men hone their minds by acquiring new skills and challenging their brains.

Boys refuse to consider new ideas and information that challenges their beliefs.

Men proactively seek out information that disproves their most cherished beliefs.

5. Boys Let Other People Steer their Lives. Men Are Self Reliant

Boys will go to college based on what their parents want.

Boys will take a job because their friends think that they should.

Boys will get married because “Everyone else is doing it”.

Men have a clear vision for their lives and captain their own ship. They make decisions based on their goals not on other people’s expectations.

Men take counsel from others but ultimately make their own decisions.

6. Boys Use Women for Validation. Men Seek Out Women to Share Experiences

Boys care about “Getting laid”.

They want as many notches on their belt as possible.

They see women as objects of sexual validation and satisfaction and will say anything to get in a woman’s pants and bolster their sexual prowess.

Men, whether monogamous or not, care about finding incredible partners to share in life’s amazing experiences.

They don’t seek out women for validation or for “Street Cred”.

They seek out women because they want someone who can come alongside them and share in the journey of life.

Whether they limit themselves to one partner or enjoy multiple partners, men value and appreciate the fairer sex and see women as equals with whom they can share life, not as simply another lay.

7. Boys Blame Others. Men Take Full Responsibility

Boys blame others for their failures and their mess ups.

They blame their parents, their spouses, their boss, their co-workers, the economy, the weather and anything else they can point a finger at.

Men take 100% responsibility for their actions every time all the time.

Whether they are truly at fault or not, men know that they are ultimately responsible for everything that happens to them.

When their girlfriend cheats on them they take responsibility for ignoring the red flags and dating the wrong person.

When their boss screws them out of a large bonus they take responsibility for staying with an unethical company.

When their business tanks because of a bad economic spiral, they take responsibility for failing to prepare for a declining market.

Men take 100% responsibility for everything in their life and everything not in their life.

Because when they take 100% responsibility for their lives they have 100% of the power for the trajectory and the outcome of their lives.


Although masculinity has become a convoluted and confusing topic in recent years, the “Boy vs. Man” debate can be summarized very simply.

Men take responsibility for their lives, treat others with respect, and do what needs to be done.

Boys do not.

So, as cliche as it may sound, quit screwing around and be man.

Stay Grounded